As you will have probably seen in the mainstream media, a massive ‘less than one per cent’ of Police Officers in the United Kingdom have a ‘Criminal Record’.
One of Bullshire Online’s extremely brave so-called ‘Journalist’ wankers feels it necessary to create a rabble-rousing and divisive headline in a bid to drive traffic to our ad-infested agenda-addled website; and to further empower absolute fucking idiots to kick off at the cops.
“CRIMINAL POLICE OFFICER”
Our investigation into Bullshire Police can exclusively reveal that a SERVING Bullshire Police Officer is, in fact, a ‘CRIMINAL POLICE OFFICER’
Now 48 years old, the Bullshire Bog Standard Response Officer was caught on tape revealing how, in 1983, he engaged in a CRIMINAL ACT.
Naturally, we have reported our findings to the Inept Office that Persecutes Cops [IOPC] so they can spend the next 80 years fucking around doing fuck knows what; but we digress.
“TAPE TO TAPE”
Back in 1983, the SERVING Bullshire Police Officer was twelve years old; and has openly admitted to our undercover reporter that he illegally copied ‘Manic Miner’.
As part of his CRIME, the SERVING Bullshire Police Officer admitted that he went round to his mate’s house on his BMX and, using two cassette recorders, copied the original Manic Miner onto a blank tape.
As you will know, the art of copying ZX Spectrum games is fraught with pitfalls; as, quite often, the volume has been set incorrectly or something; which means the copied game won’t load.
We have also learned that, on his way to his mate’s house on his BMX, the CRIMINAL COPPER popped a wheelie then expertly bunny hopped up the kerb. Apparently they tried to do a ‘Flick’ but they were shit at flicks.
We did ask the CRIMINAL whether he could do ‘Endos’ but he said his front brake wasn’t working properly so it was a bit difficult.
We have approached Bullshire’s Top Cop for comment, but they told us to “FUCK OFF AND STOP WASTING [THEIR] TIME WITH VEXATIOUS UTTER FUCKING BOLLOCKS.”
Before putting the phone down on our intrepid brave so-called ‘Reporter’, Bullshire’s Top Cop was heard to mutter “CUNT”.
Our intrepid, brave and heroic so-called ‘Reporter’ has browsed the world wide web and obtained a photo of a ‘Raleigh Burner’.
Please note, the BMX owned by the CRIMINAL BULLSHIRE Police Officer didn’t have red grips; it had yellow grips. Probably. We can’t remember.