As the weather worsens, many roads are being left non-gritted which obviously affects motorists who venture out without realising they’re pretty much in control of the consequences of their own decision making.


Therefore, because everything is the fault of the police, Bullshire Police are going to accept responsibility for:

  1. Snow;
  2. Ice; and
  3. Gritting Roads.

You may be thinking “Aren’t the local authority responsible for gritting roads?” but you’d be wrong.

You see – Absolutely everything is the fault of the police.

Chief Constable Sir Mason Lodge said “Everything is the fault of the police. ¬†Therefore, we’re going to get Bullshire’s elite ‘Roads Policing Team’ to actually do something. ¬†As they’re the only ones who are elite enough to drive our 4×4 vehicles, I’m getting them to grit Bullshire’s roads.

Chief Constable Lodge concluded “I accept responsibility for non-gritted roads; and, therefore, you’re OK to pop something in inverted commas in the headline for this article.”