A shocked Old Age Pensioner contacted Bullshire Online in severe shock recently; after she received more than she bargained for at her local cash point.
Mavis Simpleton-Fuckwit was so outraged with her withdrawal she decided to drop everything and make her way to Bullshire Online’s Offices, where she spoke to one of our daring so-called ‘Reporters’.
In the morning of today, the offended OAP withdrew £20 from the cashpoint of her local branch of the Bullshire Bank; but, when she popped up The Tescoses to buy some sprouts or something she was shocked when she handed over a crisp ten pound note to the unsuspecting checkout man.
“…I handed over the ten pound note that I’d just got out of the Bullshire Bank hole in the wall. The young lad at the till took one look at it, looked up at me and winked. At first I thought he was flirting, but then he glanced down at the brand new ten pound note I’d just withdrawn…”
Mavis was too embarrassed to show us what was on the ten pound note, so we had to create a mock up using Photoshop to show you what she saw.
As you can see, it’s very shocking.
As you can see, it’s very shocking.
“…Using a biro or felt-tip pen – or maybe the brush tool in Photoshop – someone has drawn a massive cock on the ten pound note. It’s even got a few spurts of man-fat squirting out of the end…”
With our intrepid reporter to support her, the shocked OAP reported the incident to Bullshire Police who have made an appointment to see her in 18 months time because they’re a bit busy at the moment dealing with real crime and stuff.
However, our reporter took the soiled note into one of their few remaining Police Stations and showed it to a top cop.
The top cop – believed to be a temporary Detective Constable took one look at the tenner todger and said,
“…Crikey, that’s a good effort. It looks nice and clean shaven and is quite a size. However, it appears to be flaccid so I suspect the pictorial representation of apparent semen is, in fact, urine; so it’s not as bad as it first appears…”
What do you think? Is the cock flaccid and the liquid simply piss? Or do you think it’s man-fat?
Let us know.
Defacing cash is an offence under marmite law; and, if caught drawing cocks on cash, you could face life imprisonment and/or an unlimited fine.