Bullshire’s Top Cop – Chief Constable Sir Mason Lodge (MBSE/GCSE/B-Tec) has spoken exclusively to Bullshire Online following the announcement of so-called “Extra Funds” by the government.
According to the real news, the vile tory government are providing the police with some cash; including, obviously, Bullshire Police.
But Bullshire’s top cop has spoken out, calling the announcement a “…big load of fucking bullshit bollocks…”
Whilst wearing a really shiny hat with a shitload of custard on the peak, the top cop said:
“…Bullshire Police are well skint. I had to make do with a BMW this year; and I fucking hate BMW’s. I wanted a Mercedes but the wankers in the finance department said that we needed to spend the money on fucking uniform for the bog standards.
Anyway. Apparently the government have given Bullshire Police some cash; but that barely covers the massive fuck up that’s been made with pensions and shit.
The apparently lying smarmy tory fuckers also claim that they’re increasing funding to Bullshire Police; but that’s a load of shit too. All they’re doing is allowing our PCC yes man to increase the proportion of council tax he bags every year to pay the salaries of the bunch of fuckwits he employs in his little office. Don’t get me started on him; he’s a prize cunt.
Once again, the lying tories are attempting to blag the people; who’ll end up paying through their arse because the tories are a bunch of self-serving pricks…”
Alternatively, if you want to hear what John Apter (the FedFather) has to say:
— Police Federation (@PFEW_HQ) December 13, 2018