Two Bricks and Knitting Needles

“PEOPLE WHO ASSAULT EMERGENCY WORKERS SHOULD FACE EXTREME PUNISHMENT”

In a bid to deter people from assaulting Emergency Workers, Bullshire Police are pushing for harsher punishment for Offenders.

As you may have seen in the real news, people who assault Emergency Workers often receive pathetic punishments; which really really pisses pretty much everybody off.

One of our intrepid so-called “Journalists” has approached Bullshire Police for their thoughts.

“STERALISE THE FUCKERS”

…Anyone who assaults an Emergency Worker should face extreme punishment. If it was down to me, I’d crush the coward’s bollocks with two bricks, so they couldn’t breed and introduce any more feral vermin in the cesspit of their underclass favela. If it was a so-called female offender, I’d deploy the knitting needles to show the feral piece of shit who’s boss; and prevent her from squeezing out any more spawn…

“FACEBOOK”

Why not choose to return to Facebook and comment on the post with something you think is witty. If it makes us chuckle, we might make you ‘Famous’ by quoting you in this article. Because we can.

“BUY SOME SHIT FROM OUR SHOP”

Now we’ve got your attention, why not choose to browse our ‘Stuff’ and consider the question of buying some shit from our shop. Every little helps in our quest to donate as many ‘Morale Bundles’ as possible; which, as you may not be aware, don’t grown on trees and cost us money.

A "Pint for the Social Media Ambassador"

SKU SMAPint
£4.08
Scotch Egg
Cheeky Chaser?
In stock
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Product Details
In the past, if you didn't want to choose to procure 'Bullshire Stuff' you could choose to procure a 'Virtual Pint' for our Social Media Ambassador.
Any forthcoming wedge was put towards 'Morale Bundles' for injured bobbies and to procure various bits and bobs which we donated to the wonderful Care of Police Survivors charity. Naturally, because running 'Bullshire' far from free, wedge was also put towards keeping the lights on at Bullshire HQ.
But now, because our supreme leaders say so, a 'Virtual Pint' cannot be procured; it must be accompanied by a 'Substantial Meal'.
Therefore, if you don't want to choose to procure any physical Bullshire Stuff, you'll have to choose to consider the question of deciding to procure a 'Virtual Scotch Egg' for our Social Media Ambassador; which will allow them to keep the lights on and to continue running all things 'Bullshire'.
You don't have to, obviously. We'll carry on doing what we do, because it's a laugh.
Merry Christmas.
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A "Pint for the Social Media Ambassador"