In an exclusive Bullshire Online Scoop we’ve discovered that, in a similar way to real proper police organisations, Bullshire Police are writing to staff who used to work for them asking – or more like begging – them to come back.
That’s right, like real proper police organisations, Bullshire Police are feeling the pinch of the ongoing, incessant deconstruction of their very being by the government,
Under the guise of “Efficiency Savings” the top brass Bullshire Police have been cutting corners in all the wrong places whilst retaining the security of their own futures.
Part of these so-called “Efficiency Savings” involved Bullshire Police Officers having the audacity to retire.
Like some real proper police organisations, Bullshire Police are writing to retired Police Officers begging them to return to work as volunteer special detectives to work beneath the elite Detective Constables who, quite clearly, outrank pretty much everyone within Bullshire Police (except Ron the janitor and Rose the cleaner, obviously).
Once again it would appear they are reaping what they sowed [look it up, it looks wrong but, according to the internet, it’s not]; because they’ve finally realised that allowing Police Officers to retire should not be allowed.
Bullshire Online have heard rumours that, over a snifter of sherry with the big-wigs within the National Police Federation earlier today, Home Secretary Theresa May proposed to introduce further changes to the police pension scheme which would see Police Officers having to work for 150 years before they can retire.
As with everything the government do or try to do the police, Bullshire Online understands that the Police Federation nodded, smiled, rolled over then paid an external marketing consultant £20,000 to make a crap video and also came up with a pathetic ‘Marketing Campaign’ which involved a ‘catchy twitter hashtag’ which was 150 characters long.