Bullshire Police have recently been commended by the police watchdog after handling a situation extremely well which involved the detention of a child whose parent couldn’t cope so they ended up calling the police. As you do.
Findings found that the parent thought that instead of attempting to instil a little bit of discipline in their spawn from an early age, they fed them Pot Noodles and Skittles every day and allowed them to play on 18+ computer games from the age of 2.
Findings also found that the parent smoked ‘Skunk’ around the child all day which, according to them, is a “…natral erb innit…”
The incident – which involved the feral spawn of this underclass parent kicking off because, quite frankly, they’re underclass and have no respect for anyone – resulted in the parent calling Bullshire Police Officers to attend her free house and parent their child for them.
Upon arrival at the free house and after negotiating their way through the filthy vile old sofa, rusty fridge and Ford Escort XR3i engine on the front mud-bath, Bullshire Police Officers encountered what could only be described as a wild animal smashing the free stuff up in the free house.
Faced with no alternative, Bullshire Police Officers arrested the feral spawn and tried their best.
Fortunately, when the underclass parent complained, the ‘Police Watchdog’ told them to dream on and commended the decision the Bullshire Police Officers had made.
When the so-called caregiver had sobered up (because they’d been in custody for 72 hours (after stealing some bacon and razor blades)) they finally admitted that they’re a shite parent.
The shite parent also accepted responsibility for their own spawn and apologised to the Bullshire Police Officers who their spawn had spat at, punched, kicked and abused.
Please Note: We made this up. It’s fiction. A fairytale.