Earlier today (Thursday) a vile underclass usually intoxicated benefit recipient was spared prison by a lenient Magistrate because she had fingernails.
Bullshire Magistrates’ Court heard that the horrendous excuse of a woman had allegedly repeatedly punched a Bullshire Police Officer who had simply attended her free house to ask her to stop her awful trophy dog from pooing on her equally underclass neighbour’s sofa which was in the street outside.
Despite having 173,299 previous convictions for punching Police Officers, the woman was spared prison; because the Magistrate happened to notice she had pleasantly manicured fingernails.
A spokesperson for the Crown Prosecution Service said “I couldn’t get a job with a firm of defence solicitors because I only got a 3rd from Bullshire Polytechnic; so I had to join the relatively poorly paid CPS. ”
In sentencing the underclass tramp, Magistrates told the woman this is her 19,773rd last chance; then spent the next 15 minutes discussing gel coatings and hot wax manicures.