Two Bricks and Knitting Needles

“PEOPLE WHO ASSAULT EMERGENCY WORKERS SHOULD FACE EXTREME PUNISHMENT”

In a bid to deter people from assaulting Emergency Workers, Bullshire Police are pushing for harsher punishment for Offenders.

As you may have seen in the real news, people who assault Emergency Workers often receive pathetic punishments; which really really pisses pretty much everybody off.

One of our intrepid so-called “Journalists” has approached Bullshire Police for their thoughts.

“STERALISE THE FUCKERS”

…Anyone who assaults an Emergency Worker should face extreme punishment. If it was down to me, I’d crush the coward’s bollocks with two bricks, so they couldn’t breed and introduce any more feral vermin in the cesspit of their underclass favela. If it was a so-called female offender, I’d deploy the knitting needles to show the feral piece of shit who’s boss; and prevent her from squeezing out any more spawn…

“FACEBOOK”

Why not choose to return to Facebook and comment on the post with something you think is witty. If it makes us chuckle, we might make you ‘Famous’ by quoting you in this article. Because we can.

“BUY SOME SHIT FROM OUR SHOP”

Now we’ve got your attention, why not choose to browse our ‘Stuff’ and consider the question of buying some shit from our shop. Every little helps in our quest to donate as many ‘Morale Bundles’ as possible; which, as you may not be aware, don’t grown on trees and cost us money.

A 'Pint' for PC EKZARMIE

EKZARMIEPint
£3.80
In stock
1
Product Details

This is an opportunity to choose to buy PC EKZARMIE a "Pint".

However, seeing as PC EKZARMIE is a figment of our Social Media Ambassador's imagination; it will be a 'Virtual Pint' only. Any wedge raised will be used by our Social Media Ambassador to create more content to hopefully make you laugh, cry or become fauxfended by.

We'll also use any wedge to fund 'Morale Bundles' for bobbies who are going through a tough time or have been assaulted. We do a load of these behind the scenes without publicity. We wish we didn't have to, but we do.

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